So as you know doubt know, the RSPT crew was charged by the school with furnishing alcohol to a minor. Our case officer, whom I shall refer to as "the white knight", was out to nail us from the first time we met with him. At that initial meeting, he tried to convince us, based on laws and accusations that were not relevant to our charge, that we would be found guilty by the campus hearing board, and that we should just sign a paper indicating that we were guilty. The punishment would be missing a track meet because we would have to go to a seminar designed for violent criminals, a two-page paper on what we "learned", and a judicial mark on our records for 2 years. We decided that, given the evidence against us at the time, which was non-existent, that we would appeal our case. Well this evening we had our hearing. We made a solid case and thought that we would be let off the hook on the basis that they could not prove anything against us, because we had made it quite apparent that we were in fact innocent. Well a couple hours later, Mike and I got a phone call from the chief justice in the case. He informed us that, beyond all logic and reason, that we had been found guilty. Gabe was found innocent because he had not gotten to the party until after the person in question had gotten sick. The thing that sucks about this whole thing... not only do we have to complete all of the punishments that the white knight laid out for us, we would have to complete 40 hours of community service in the month of April. How, with any semblance of rationality, could they think that full-time students who are varsity athletes would have the time to do 40 hours of CS in a single month? It is utterly ludicrous. And complete bullshit.
I don't know what's going to happen now. We can try to appeal that the punishment is not practical. If that doesn't work.... then they will have effectively destroyed my constant... I will have to quit the track team in order to make time to complete all that community service... I have nothing against community service, in fact I've been meaning to get more involved in all that anyways... I don't think I've ever been so frustrated in my life. It boggles my mind when I have to come to terms with that fact that they are punishing us with literally zero evidence against us. The state of Massachusetts couldn't take action, and for good reason, there was no proof, so how can a school get away with it??? Fuck this.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
My Constant
Got home tonight around 9:30, saw an old red pontiac sunbird sitting in front of my apartment, and knew exactly what that meant. As I walked up the stairs, I braced myself for the key phrases that would confirm my suspicions- "CHYEA!", "Help me you fuck!", "Get him you fuck!", "Mundo does what he pleases!", and the familiar sound of a mouse being slammed on a table(like a computer mouse, not the rodent-type, lulz). I was right. Plop down on my chair, time to take a mind-dump.
So we all learned what a constant in way back when we took simple algebra back in middle school. It's something that always has the same value, and never changes, even if everything else does. I've been thinking about this lately and I believe that everyone should have some sort of constant in their lives. It seems to me that people who have a constant, whether it be a sport, a musical instrument, dancing, or academics, etc, always seem to have a more firm grasp on life. Now that is to say I also think that people should not only focus on their constant, but also on whatever else strikes their interest. On the other hand, people who don't have a constant seem lost in life, or just go with the flow with no real direction in mind. Now anybody who knows me knows that I thoroughly enjoy running. Most people gasp in horror when I say I just got back from a 14 miler, commenting that they can barely run a single mile without "dying". A bit of an exaggeration, I think. I guess the reason as to why I got into running is because I was never very good at other sports. Sophomore year of high school I decided to join my school's xc team, on a whim really. It was tough, I'll admit, but I stuck with it, slowly improving my times through the next couple years. I made some great friends, in fact, I met my best friend there, and we are still the best of friends. I always looked up to him, because he was one of those people who was literally good at everything. Top of his class, all state runner(held several school records), all state musician in the trumpet(I also played trumpet but was never as good), AND he was a ladies man... boy he had it all. Anyways, I guess he had a bunch of constants, and he has sort of moved on from some of them to pursue his dream of becoming of neurosurgeon(crossing my fingers I never break my neck, but if I do, I'm going straight to him). Well anyways, back to me. I've gone through lots of stages in my short life, some for the better, some for the worse. But not matter what, running was always there to catch me when I fell. When I needed time to think, I could always just lace up and hit the road. I've some of my best conversations while running with my teammates, and had some solid revelations while out on my own in the trails of merrywood in my hometown. Once I got into college, I got really serious about my running. I wanted to be a top runner on my team, and I trained really hard. Unfortunately, I've been plagued with injuries(stress fractures, tendonitis, you name it)... During my first couple injuries I sort of gave up on running, thinking I'd never be able to get back into shape... and during those times, I felt really lost, I just didn't want to get out of my room. My constant had turned into a variable, and without knowing what that was, I was lost. Well, luckily, everything turned around once I was able to run again, like being born again I suppose. It was awesome! Last fall when I was a captain of the xc team and I got another season-ending stress fracture, after my best summer of training in my life. Needless to say, I was devastated, but I did whatever I could to maintain fitness. By this point I had begun to figure out that I needed a constant in my life to keep me going when shit hit the fan. I was determined to keep it working for me, so I was in the pool aquajogging nearly everyday with Mitch and Mark, I hit the gym 3 days a week to lift weights, did circuits and core like a madman. This past year has also been my toughest academically. If I didn't maintain my constant, which was shifted from running to training for running through an injury, I really don't know what I would have done. I'd just be one of those losers who does nothing except and play video games all day. How lame that would have been. Well I'm back at it now, had a couple solid races during indoors and now I'm ready for outdoors.
Well this ended being way longer than I intended, but I hope you get the point. Find something you will enjoy til the day you die, and do it. Do it well, do if often. It will be there to catch you when no one else is around. It'll get you through some tough times, for certain, and who knows, it might just save your life.
So we all learned what a constant in way back when we took simple algebra back in middle school. It's something that always has the same value, and never changes, even if everything else does. I've been thinking about this lately and I believe that everyone should have some sort of constant in their lives. It seems to me that people who have a constant, whether it be a sport, a musical instrument, dancing, or academics, etc, always seem to have a more firm grasp on life. Now that is to say I also think that people should not only focus on their constant, but also on whatever else strikes their interest. On the other hand, people who don't have a constant seem lost in life, or just go with the flow with no real direction in mind. Now anybody who knows me knows that I thoroughly enjoy running. Most people gasp in horror when I say I just got back from a 14 miler, commenting that they can barely run a single mile without "dying". A bit of an exaggeration, I think. I guess the reason as to why I got into running is because I was never very good at other sports. Sophomore year of high school I decided to join my school's xc team, on a whim really. It was tough, I'll admit, but I stuck with it, slowly improving my times through the next couple years. I made some great friends, in fact, I met my best friend there, and we are still the best of friends. I always looked up to him, because he was one of those people who was literally good at everything. Top of his class, all state runner(held several school records), all state musician in the trumpet(I also played trumpet but was never as good), AND he was a ladies man... boy he had it all. Anyways, I guess he had a bunch of constants, and he has sort of moved on from some of them to pursue his dream of becoming of neurosurgeon(crossing my fingers I never break my neck, but if I do, I'm going straight to him). Well anyways, back to me. I've gone through lots of stages in my short life, some for the better, some for the worse. But not matter what, running was always there to catch me when I fell. When I needed time to think, I could always just lace up and hit the road. I've some of my best conversations while running with my teammates, and had some solid revelations while out on my own in the trails of merrywood in my hometown. Once I got into college, I got really serious about my running. I wanted to be a top runner on my team, and I trained really hard. Unfortunately, I've been plagued with injuries(stress fractures, tendonitis, you name it)... During my first couple injuries I sort of gave up on running, thinking I'd never be able to get back into shape... and during those times, I felt really lost, I just didn't want to get out of my room. My constant had turned into a variable, and without knowing what that was, I was lost. Well, luckily, everything turned around once I was able to run again, like being born again I suppose. It was awesome! Last fall when I was a captain of the xc team and I got another season-ending stress fracture, after my best summer of training in my life. Needless to say, I was devastated, but I did whatever I could to maintain fitness. By this point I had begun to figure out that I needed a constant in my life to keep me going when shit hit the fan. I was determined to keep it working for me, so I was in the pool aquajogging nearly everyday with Mitch and Mark, I hit the gym 3 days a week to lift weights, did circuits and core like a madman. This past year has also been my toughest academically. If I didn't maintain my constant, which was shifted from running to training for running through an injury, I really don't know what I would have done. I'd just be one of those losers who does nothing except and play video games all day. How lame that would have been. Well I'm back at it now, had a couple solid races during indoors and now I'm ready for outdoors.
Well this ended being way longer than I intended, but I hope you get the point. Find something you will enjoy til the day you die, and do it. Do it well, do if often. It will be there to catch you when no one else is around. It'll get you through some tough times, for certain, and who knows, it might just save your life.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My First Blog
After reading the king of internet critiques and owner of the self-titled "best page in the universe" Maddox's article on blogging, I never thought I would end up doing this... But I have sort of been having a mid-life crisis at the ripe old age of 21(hopefully, as Ashman noted, I will live to more than 42(the answer to life, the universe, and everything???)), and I thought this would be a good way to get out the things that I am just to shy or too immature to talk about out loud with the world. I'll try and add something new every once in a while so that I can keep track of my thoughts, and hey, maybe someone will be interested in hearing what I have to say. Who knows, hopefully you'll learn something about me that you don't know, and that you'll learn to appreciate that there is more to Paul Sullivan than the beer-guzzling, controversial, selfish, and somewhat poor excuse for a human being, who has yet to make his life worthwhile, that you see every day. I'm not quite sure how to start this, but I guess I'll leave you with a few of the questions that I find myself asking and not being able to fully comprehend.
-Why IS the universe? Not what, but why? Some say it was an act of God, other say it was just a point in space-time that exploded into being a long time ago. As far as our limited minds have taught us, we know a fair amount about what happened after the inception of the universe, but why did it ever come into existance in the first place? Why does there have to be anything? Which leads me to my next question.
-Why could there just be nothing? Imagine, nothing at all. No people, no earth, no sun, no milky way, no universe at all. Just blackness, forever and ever. I don't know the answer, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like there HAS to be something. This whole concept just boggles my mind.
-What will it take for me to turn my life around? I've started to understand this more and more as I find myself less and less happy with the choices I've made the past few years. Lots of regrets, and not too many things I can say I'm proud of. This is sort of what I meant when I mentioned previously that I was having a crisis. I'm not one of those people who doesn't know who they are, I know who I am and that's what scares me. A couple nights ago I laid awake in bed for an hour, my head buried in my hands, thinking about all the mistakes I've made, the places I went wrong, and thought about what I should have done. Should have but didn't. Got caught up in whatever it is was and just went with it. There's nothing I can do now about it though, all I can do is hopefully learn from the past so that I can make my future a little bit brighter. Gonna go off on a tangent from my list of questions to point out my biggest flaws, and also some of my better traits.
The Bad- I am selfish: I spend too much time on myself, rather than on my friends and family. I still haven't gotten down this little thing called "do a good turn daily". I recently saw a friend, not a close friend, but someone whom I would consider a friend, in distress. I did nothing to comfort this person. I sat back and watched while eventually others came to this person's aid. Needless to say, a few kind words probably would have been a huge lift to this person, and probably would have made us much closer friends, but I wasted the opportunity.
I am greedy: I want, and I want, and I want. When will I be able to distinguish between what I want and what I need. Hopefully I will learn the answer soon.
I am often close-minded: I don't often let other peoples' thoughts or ideas sway me, and it's usually for a good reason. Probably more often than not, I make lots of good choices, but when I make a bad choice, they are really bad, and I dwell on thoughts of what will become of me because of it. When someone offers me a piece of knowledge that I could actually learn from, I need to learn to take it with me integrate into my complicated thought processes so that I may become a more open, wholesome, genuine person.
The Good- I don't know what to say here at the moment, but at least I can say that deep down I know I can do the right thing from time to time.
-What's the point of it all? Some think it's to get rich or die trying, others would say it's to spend your life in selfless devotion to others, while fence-riders might suggest that trying to lead a good life, even if you screw up, is all that matters. Who am I to judge any of them? I don't know what is going to make me content, and I guess that is why I have all these questions.
Well, its been 54 minutes, which means that Megavideo will release its strangehold on my IP address so that I can finish my episode of Lost! Sweet. I'll update this thing when I think of something worthwhile, feel free to reply.
-Why IS the universe? Not what, but why? Some say it was an act of God, other say it was just a point in space-time that exploded into being a long time ago. As far as our limited minds have taught us, we know a fair amount about what happened after the inception of the universe, but why did it ever come into existance in the first place? Why does there have to be anything? Which leads me to my next question.
-Why could there just be nothing? Imagine, nothing at all. No people, no earth, no sun, no milky way, no universe at all. Just blackness, forever and ever. I don't know the answer, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like there HAS to be something. This whole concept just boggles my mind.
-What will it take for me to turn my life around? I've started to understand this more and more as I find myself less and less happy with the choices I've made the past few years. Lots of regrets, and not too many things I can say I'm proud of. This is sort of what I meant when I mentioned previously that I was having a crisis. I'm not one of those people who doesn't know who they are, I know who I am and that's what scares me. A couple nights ago I laid awake in bed for an hour, my head buried in my hands, thinking about all the mistakes I've made, the places I went wrong, and thought about what I should have done. Should have but didn't. Got caught up in whatever it is was and just went with it. There's nothing I can do now about it though, all I can do is hopefully learn from the past so that I can make my future a little bit brighter. Gonna go off on a tangent from my list of questions to point out my biggest flaws, and also some of my better traits.
The Bad- I am selfish: I spend too much time on myself, rather than on my friends and family. I still haven't gotten down this little thing called "do a good turn daily". I recently saw a friend, not a close friend, but someone whom I would consider a friend, in distress. I did nothing to comfort this person. I sat back and watched while eventually others came to this person's aid. Needless to say, a few kind words probably would have been a huge lift to this person, and probably would have made us much closer friends, but I wasted the opportunity.
I am greedy: I want, and I want, and I want. When will I be able to distinguish between what I want and what I need. Hopefully I will learn the answer soon.
I am often close-minded: I don't often let other peoples' thoughts or ideas sway me, and it's usually for a good reason. Probably more often than not, I make lots of good choices, but when I make a bad choice, they are really bad, and I dwell on thoughts of what will become of me because of it. When someone offers me a piece of knowledge that I could actually learn from, I need to learn to take it with me integrate into my complicated thought processes so that I may become a more open, wholesome, genuine person.
The Good- I don't know what to say here at the moment, but at least I can say that deep down I know I can do the right thing from time to time.
-What's the point of it all? Some think it's to get rich or die trying, others would say it's to spend your life in selfless devotion to others, while fence-riders might suggest that trying to lead a good life, even if you screw up, is all that matters. Who am I to judge any of them? I don't know what is going to make me content, and I guess that is why I have all these questions.
Well, its been 54 minutes, which means that Megavideo will release its strangehold on my IP address so that I can finish my episode of Lost! Sweet. I'll update this thing when I think of something worthwhile, feel free to reply.
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